Kristen Boldt is an integrative attorney and mediator and the owner of Harmony Law in Des Moines. There she offers a values-centered process to help clients solve problems in the present and plan for the future. This includes collaborative and other peaceful divorce solutions, mediation, and workplace solutions like conscious contracts.

Tell me about your background.

I grew up in Des Moines and graduated from Roosevelt High School. After graduation, I wanted to get away from Iowa, so I attended Vanderbilt University in Nashville. After four years there, I realized I was a midwestern girl. I returned to Iowa to work in my family business for a while, and then I went to Drake University Law School.

I took time away from work to stay home with my two young daughters and heal from the death of my mother and the loss from a stillbirth. When I was ready to return to work, I realized that I didn’t want to fight for a living. I had seen a lot of collateral damage in the court system, and I didn’t want to be part of that.

I became a certified mediator as a way to encourage creative solutions outside the win-lose options of a courtroom. Mediation acknowledges that life is more complicated; with mediation, we can step back, look at the layers of a conflict, and create something new.

Tell me about your business.

The name for my law firm came out of my first conscious contract training. The facilitator asked us to identify our own values from a list of terms. “Harmony” immediately jumped out at me. Harmony in music comes from weaving together different notes and tones to make something more than they can be on their own. Music also teaches us that a little dissonance in the chord does not destroy the piece; instead, it is the path we need to follow to get to the resolution.

This is how I see my work with people. To me, working through conflict and divorce by way of the court system feels limited. People have to take sides, and there is only one decision from one impartial judge. At Harmony Law, I see myself as being polypartial: I explore all sides of an issue to bring about a solution that works for everyone.

As an integrative attorney, I see my job as healing the community. Integrative law, founded by J. Kim Wright, is a global movement. In my practice, I take a collaborative approach, and I use teams from the legal, mental health, financial, and other professions. This creates a path for people to move through conflict and avoid fear-based fight-or-flight responses.

I also incorporate a practice called conscious contracts, where people develop contracts using plain language, touchstone values, and trust. Contracts are based on what people need from a relationship—professional or personal—and how they can work together, not on assigning or mitigating blame.

Contracts also include a plan for addressing change and engaging disagreement—ACED—so people have a process already in place to deal with issues productively when they come up. Having a plan ahead of time frees up energy to work through what is possible instead of what isn’t possible.

What do you enjoy most about what you do?

My job involves a lot of fun and imaginative work. The contracts are pure creation, and it’s awesome. I like my role as the healer as well as the creativity of it all. I believe we all come into a disagreement or a conflict with everything we need to solve it. I also love watching people engage with each other and begin to see the possibilities. My job is to talk about the problem as a problem—to peel back the layers to talk about the underlying core issues.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I wanted to be an actor and have a life on the stage. I was very involved in drama and improvisational acting in high school. This has come in handy, actually! I have the confidence to go onstage and do presentations. I can also walk into a room as a mediator and tap into my creativity to respond to whatever comes up. Sometimes we even do “yes, and …” exercises and other improvisational techniques to help people become unstuck. It’s a remarkable way to get people thinking!

What is your next vacation, or how do you like to take a break from it all?

My everyday break is music and singing. I love music. I played the harp through high school and still pick it up now and then. I also sing in the chancel choir at Plymouth Congregational Church. I have been singing in choirs since I was young, and this has been a consistent source of joy in my life.

For my next vacation, we are trying to get to Florence. My oldest daughter is studying abroad through the Kent State University School of Fashion, and we want to visit her soon!